Sunday, January 15, 2006

Knock Knock Who's there?

This morning, while driving back from Hotel Des Indes in The Hague where we had a wonderful gala diner yesterday evening, I listened to the radio and learned that German Polizei received strict clothing and personal hygiene orders for coming 2006 Weltmeisterschaft .

They are not allowed to wear non-ironed shirts, have to wear long trousers, they have to be well shaven, tattoos are not to be shown and piercings and other jewelery are forbidden. German police officers have to be an example for the rest of the world.

We grew up in the Netherlands making fun of our direct neighbours; the Belgians related to (presumed lack off-) intelligence and the Germans related to - off course - WWII.

It would be too easy to start making German jokes now. Or wouldn't it? Ok ..allow me just a few.. I will try to behave..


Q: How does a German eat mussels
A: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* ... AUFMACHEN !!!

Q: Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?
A: Germans like to march in the shade.

Q: Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?
A: So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.

"Two Martinis, bitte."
Dry?
"Nein, I said TWO!"

Knock Knock Who's there?
"Gestapo! "
Gestapo who?
"Ve Vill ask ze Questions! "

6 comments:

Kathleen Callon said...

Even though I am 1/8th German, I think these jokes are funny.

Here are some more:

1.Q: What's the difference between a German and a shopping trolley?

A: A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

2. Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

3. Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you're hungry for power.

Blogger formerly known as JBlue said...

Funny and interesting.

Elizabeth Green said...

I like the last one best. Too funny. The martini one is good, too.

Actually, Europe is more into dress codes than we are here in the states. When I was in London, some people got thrown out of Harrod's because they had on sleeveless shirts

MARYBETH said...

Hi D

O.K I will be honest...I didnt get the humour, I hear German Soldier aand awful images enter my mind; but, it did bring back a fond memory of my sisters Love for Hogan's Heroe's, when we were young girls. I had no interest in the show, but she would watch and giggle her head off. (oh, god i really am geting old =)

DA said...

And they say Germans aren't funny Kathleen, thank you for the supplement :-))

Thks JB

I wouldn't go to Harrods butt naked nor in a three-piece suit Elizabeth...

Humor is sometimes a way of handling awful memories MB. I too remember Colonel Wilhelm Klink "Zjeneral Burkhalter, vat an unexpected zurprise!"

Mother Damnable said...

I took the children to Harrods last summer, to show them rampant consumerism gone mad!

We Went through the food hall (where I saw Dragon fruit and I'm still not sure what that is!)Then up to the fifth floor and worked our way down.

When we left they said "You're right mum, no one could possibly have it all!"

Then we wnt for a lovely walk in Hyde park.

Maybe next time I'll go butt naked :>)